In this powerful episode of the Her Health™ Podcast, Phytoceutics® CEO and host Laura Johnston is joined by psychologist, neuroscientist, behavioural expert, and mom Dr Jenny Rose for a deeply grounding conversation on children’s development, attachment, resilience, boundaries, and intentional parenting. With warmth, clinical insight, and real-life perspective, Dr Rose unpacked what kids truly need at every stage of development – and why perfection is neither realistic nor helpful.
Dr Jenny’s Rapid-Fire Parenting Insights
The episode kicked off with rapid-fire ratings from Jenny on some controversial parenting tools. Jenny rated co-sleeping 5/10, noting that both shared sleep and firm boundaries can be healthy depending on the family. Reward charts scored 8/10 for reinforcing positive behaviour, while early preschool enrolment rated just 2/10, with play, connection, and social interaction taking priority in the early years. She gave timeouts a firm 0/10, advocating instead for “time-ins” that maintain connection and support emotional regulation. Jenny rated sibling conflict a 7–8/10 and explained that it is a normal part of relationships and often improves when expectations are adjusted.
On lifestyle and nutrition, omega-3 and magnesium both scored highly for supporting brain health, development, sleep, and emotional regulation, especially in the pivotal early years of development. Jenny rated quality over quantity of time with children a clear 10/10, emphasising that short, fully present moments matter most. Letting children be bored also received a 10/10, as boredom builds imagination, internal reflection, motivation, and long-term emotional resilience.
Intentional Parenting: Showing Up with Awareness, Not Perfection
Dr Rose explained the importance of intentional parenting, what it is, and what it is not. She noted that intentional parenting isn’t about following a trendy label like “gentle” or “positive” parenting – it’s about being conscious and reflective in how we show up for our children. She elaborated that many parents carry unresolved experiences from their own childhood, and these can inevitably surface in parenting unless we actively reflect on them.
Rather than getting lost in the day-to-day logistics of parenting – school runs, activities, routines – Dr Rose encouraged parents to zoom out and ask: “What kind of parent do I want to be?” She emphasised that there is no single right answer, but intentionality lies in aligning your actions with your values.
Crucially, she noted that repair matters more than perfection. Children don’t need flawless parents – they need parents who can acknowledge mistakes, apologise, and repair. This teaches children that imperfection is human and repair is possible, building emotional safety and resilience.
Why Intrinsic Motivation Matters More Than Achievement
Laura referenced a Harvard study showing that many high-achieving children who are heavily driven by parental pressure struggle once they leave that structured, performance-driven environment. Dr Rose explained how this happens when motivation is largely external – rewards, praise, or parental expectations – children may excel in the short term but fail to develop the internal drive needed to motivate themselves independently later in life. As a result, they can feel lost, unmotivated, or reliant on direction once that external pressure is removed.
She elaborated that true resilience and self-motivation are learned skills (not traits that magically appear in adulthood) and emphasised the importance of rewarding effort over outcomes, shifting the focus from achievements to the process, persistence, and work ethic behind them. By encouraging intrinsic motivation, parents help children build the internal resources they’ll rely on during difficult moments throughout their lives.
Attachment Theory: Why Relationship Comes First
Jenny explained that attachment theory centres on one core principle: the parent-child relationship is the foundation for everything else. Academic success, emotional regulation, confidence, and future relationships are all influenced by how safe and supported a child feels with their caregiver.
She elaborated that secure attachment doesn’t mean children never struggle – it means they know where to return when they do. Children with secure attachment feel confident exploring the world, while also trusting that their parent is a safe emotional base when things feel overwhelming.
The Stages of Development: Changes and Needs
From infancy through adolescence, each developmental stage requires a different kind of parental support – from nurturing safety and emotional regulation to resilience-building and listening rather than fixing.
The Early Years (0–2): You Cannot “Overlove” a Baby
In the foundational years, Dr Rose emphasised that most brain development occurs before the age of two. During this stage, responsive parenting – responding to cries, needs, and cues – lays the groundwork for emotional security.
She firmly dispelled the myth that you can “overcomfort” a baby, stating clearly that there is no such thing as too much love or nurturance. The more nurtured a child feels, the stronger their emotional foundation becomes later in life.
Early Childhood (2–7): Boundaries, Big Emotions, and Co-Regulation
As children begin to individuate, Dr Rose explained that the ages of 2–7 are marked by growing independence, personality growth and a new sense of self, emotional outbursts, and boundary testing. Tantrums, meltdowns, and defiance are not signs of bad behaviour – but signs of immature nervous systems.
She elaborated on the concept of co-regulation, explaining that young children cannot regulate emotions alone. In moments of distress, logic and reasoning don’t work. Instead, children need emotional validation first – “I know you are upset, that is okay” – before reinforcing boundaries clearly and calmly.
Importantly, she highlighted that emotions are never the problem – behaviour is. Validating feelings while holding boundaries teaches emotional intelligence without permissiveness.
Middle Childhood (7–12): Social Complexity and Resilience
In the 7–12 age range, children pull away from their parent unit, and friendships deepen. Dr Rose noted that children face rejection, conflict, and disappointment – often for the first time. While the instinct is to remove discomfort, she emphasised that resilience is built through navigating struggle, not avoiding it.
Dr Rose used a powerful metaphor: resilience isn’t removing hurdles (life is full of struggles) – it’s helping children get back up after they fall. Parents play a vital role by supporting without rescuing, teaching children that they can cope with difficulty.
The Teen Years (13–18): Listening Matters More Than Fixing
In adolescence, Jenny explained that teens often feel unheard. Parents rush to solve problems, but teens primarily need to feel listened to and understood.
“Every single week, a teen will sit in my office and say, ‘My parents don’t listen to what I say’”.
With puberty occurring earlier and brain development happening unevenly, teens experience emotional volatility. Dr Rose likened the adolescent brain to a ripening apple – some parts mature sooner than others, explaining inconsistent behaviour. She also stressed the importance of a safe friend, whether a childhood friend, a coach, or therapist, who teens can turn to when parental dynamics feel strained.
She also emphasised that much of teen behaviour is shaped by the groundwork laid in earlier years.
Letting Kids Be Bored: Building Internal Motivation
One of the strongest takeaways from the episode was Dr Rose’s emphasis on boredom as a developmental tool. She explained that when children are constantly entertained – by schedules, activities, or screens – they lose the opportunity to develop internal motivation, creativity, and self-reflection.
Allowing children to be bored encourages them to turn inward, strengthening imagination and intrinsic drive.
Jenny’s Top Parenting Tip: Give Yourself Grace
When asked what piece of advice she’d like to leave the audience with, Jenny emphasised how important it is for parents to give themselves grace. She explained that the idea of a “perfect parent” does not exist, and when you hold yourself to an expectation that isn’t realistic, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. "Recognise the good you do every single day, rather than focusing on the moments you fall apart.”
Throughout the episode, Dr Rose reinforced one reassuring truth: you don’t need to do everything right – you just need to show up, reflect, and repair. Intentional parenting is not about control or perfection, but about connection, boundaries, and emotional safety – children don’t need perfect parents, they need present ones.
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This content is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. Always consult with your healthcare provider before starting any new supplement, especially if you are pregnant, nursing, have a medical condition, or are taking prescription or chronic medication.
